Responsible Communication Tactics

Each of us has a choice in how we respond to our situations. Based on Dr. Marshall Rosenberg's* life long work in Non Violent Communication we benefit from a relationship model where we consciously choose communications based on domination or mutual respect. One builds walls while the other builds bridges. Lead with the needs and feelings and the bridges will be more available. Come from domination, fear and judgment and walls will be in the pathway.

The situations and responses in the following grid provides opportunities to explore and 'try out' different responses and decide whether or not walls or bridges are being built. Remember, these responses are only excerpts.

Homework: email your situations and responses for inclusion here. More developed scenarios and discussions are welcome and will be edited for presentation on these pages.

email your contributions to: paul@ruezart.net

 
  Situation Response 1 Response 2 Comments

1 		Student sees grade and publicly and in a loud voice states "You made me get a D". You get what you earn. Sounds like you'd like an opportunity to increase your grades in this class?  
2 Student, after raising hand for help that does not arrive 'fast enough' feels frustrated and states in a raised voice that "You never help me!" We've already covered that several times. Ask your neighbor. That's a good question, it shows you're thinking about the lesson, go ahead and check with your study buddies and let me know what you do. Thank you.
  
3 Staffer speaks in a raised voice and tells a teacher not to send students to the office during class. This was the only time I had. Sounds like you're feeling pretty busy and would like some advance notice.  
4 Teacher hears a student exclaim in a raised voice "Oh shit". (or some other word) Watch your language, next time you're going to the office. Sounds like you're feeling really passionate about that... now, what's another word you could use?  
5 Student state loudly that she wants her make up work and she wants it now. Sorry, I'm busy right now. Come back before school tomorrow.

You sound concerned and want to make sure you have everything to keep up? Good, I need to finish what I'm doing right now, can you come back in 15 minutes or pick up the work here before school tomorrow?


  
6 Student seating is changed after holiday break. One student loudly states, 'I'm not going to sit next to him'. After teacher says this is a time to practice people skills, the student tells the class.. "not after what his brother did to my brother!" I need you to sit over there. The other student is a good person. Student talks about 'bad blood'. Teacher says we can take this to the office. Student says go ahead, I don't have to sit next to him.    
7 Students who did not turn in their Holiday Project assignments, on the first day back, were given time to complete it for partial credit. To get this credit they needed to deposited it in the public folder. Forgetting how to do this, 3 minutes before the ending bell, a student asks teacher for help. When the teacher tells the student to follow the log on instructions, the student does not do this, the bell rings and student tells the class its not fair because the teacher would not help him. Teacher tells the student to stay after class for help. Student tells the teacher you wouldn't help me during class, I've gotta go.    
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*The Center For Non Violent Communication, Dr. Marshall Rosenberg, Founder